I've been wanting to post these last few days but life kept getting in the way. I'm on a timetable about cleaning up sections of my book and attending to other priorities so I've had to rearrange some of my priorities.Back in the eighties I looked eagerly ahead to early retirement from industry. I wanted to completely change careers. I felt I had survived, not without scars, all of the pitfalls in chasing financial and ego security. I yearned for something else, something more fulfilling so two years before that gold watch date I began studying for a certification in relapse prevention counseling.
Under Terrance Gorski, founder of CENAPS, the center for relapse prevention training and certification I attained certification. According to Terry relapse begins to occur long before the alcoholic takes the first drink. Actually the drink is the event at the end of a relapse. Our relapses begin with our stinking thinking followed by self destructive behavior the leads us further and further down the spiral into that point of no return; drink, act out destructively or suicide. The important thing is be aware of our personal relapse warning signs in order to catch our relapsing early or before the event happens.
I've said all that to point out that I learned that striving to maintain balance in my live was a key factor in preventing relapse in my life. I also know that as a addict/alcoholic the hardest thing for me to do is maintain an equilibrium. My first tenancy even to this date is to approach things addictively to the neglect of others and other things in my life. Especially those things that boost my ego such as blogging.
Whenever I catch myself in that addictive web I have to reevaluate my life based on the HALT criteria of hungry, angry, lonely and tired and then do an honest evaluation of my daily schedule.
P.S. No matter that I've counseled many professionally and sponsored many in the program, being the addictive person that I am I have to practice not falling off my balance bar daily. Thankfully over the years when I have lost my balance I've been able to reach out for help before falling all the way down the spiral. I'm also thankful that I only have to maintain that balance one day at a time no matter how much I learn or how long I live.
JF
Interesting post. I've not been sober long but I see, more and more, my ability to obsess. I find myself looking for something new to obsess about because it's a lot easier to pick up a new hobby than it is to work my program, to deal with and put up with the feelings that come with not drinking.
ReplyDeleteFinding a point of balance does not come easy if at all. I am so glad for "one day at a time."
thank you for your insight. relapse DOES start waaaay before picking up that first drink. addiction is sneaky and vigilence is always needed, no matter how much time has passed...
ReplyDeleteI have heard that period prior to picking up a drink referred to as "prelapse". It is so evident to see it in someone else, but much more difficult to see it in myself.
ReplyDeleteThis post reminded me of the importance of the daily practice of Steps 10 and 11. "If we don't grow here, we don't stay here." Falling out of balance is the first indication I need to slow down and look at what is really going on with me. Thank you for a great post and a wonderful reminder.
JR, I too have to watch addictive behaviours in myself as well. That's just part of who I am so I have to work at being in balance. I am in that mode right now, sorting through some addictive behaviours and working on some shortcomings...
ReplyDeletethanks for your post :-)