Loving and Loveable

Coming out of the noon meeting yesterday an old friend (MF) in the program asked me to lunch. along with several others. I declined their invite since they had selected a eatery across town and I had an appointment at two. No way to go back and forth.

I was surprised when he turned to them and said. "I'm not going with y'all, I'm going across the street with Jim for a hamburger."

MF is a much decorated Vietnam veteran (helicopter gunner) who came by his sobriety the hard way. Besides fighting his way out of the jungles in Asia, the web of addiction to heroin and alcohol he has also had to fight through a post traumatic mental jungle as a result of those wars.

As we sat down with our sandwiches I noticed his eyes beginning to well up with tears. Not touching his hamburger he began to pour out his grief. "The bastard killed her. She was beautiful, a golden retriever. The bastard didn't have the guts to confront me let alone kill my girl himself. No he knew how he could really hurt me. We've been together eleven years. She knew me. But most important, she really loved me. She put up with me through good and bad."

"Yah, even though we both were sometimes a pain in the ass to each other, we loved and trusted each other. We were always there for each other."

The tears, his grief, his depth of love, I hugged him. This "hard ass real dope addict/alcoholic" was/is what this new way of life is all about. It's not just taking the booze and the dope addiction away its about "Changing someone unlovable and unloving into someone lovable and loving."

P.S. You've probably already guessed, MF is one of those special people who would and does go to any lenght to help another alcoholic/addict.

MF's dog was killed in a senseless drive-by shooting paid for by a resentful doper/alcoholic.

JF