God's Will

As usual I picked up my 24 Hr a Day and began my quiet time. I've had my 24hr book since the first year of sobriety. Over the years I have made notes of the events of that date, sometimes adding attitude feelings etc. It's like a family bible with births, deaths, firings, promotions graduations.
On today's date the margins were cluttered with such happenings. Over the range of events and years I entertained feelings and attitudes that ranged from loneliness, depression, anger, fear to joy, gratitude and immense love. All recorded.
The difference in feelings and attitudes were directly dependent on me. When I pout and react like a spoiled brat my ego has been bruised. I want the answer and I want it now, I want to control the situation and the outcome. I god.
However in those times that I experienced love, joy, gratitude, and peace of mind I had let go of the situation, event, person whatever and let God. I didn't need the answer, I did not have to understand the reasons nor see the outcome; just make (and continue to daily make)"...the decision to turn my will over...." like in the following poem.

The Weaver
My life
is but a weaving
between my Lord
and me.
I cannot choose
the colors
he worketh
steadily.
Oft times
he weaveth sorrow
and I
in foolish pride
forget he sees
the upper
and I the underside.
Not until
the loom is silent
and the suttles
cease to fly
shall God
unroll the canvas
and explain
the reason why.
The dark threads
are as needful
in the weaver's
skillful hand
as the threads
of gold and silver
in the pattern
he has planned.
Author Unknown
JF